"may the best day in your past, be the worst day in your future"

"for what it's worth; it's never too late to be whoever you want to be.  i hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, i hope you have the strength to start all over again"

-f. scott fitzgerald

"i feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.  that's the two categories.  the horrible are like, i don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled.  i don't know how they get through life. it's amazing to me.  and the miserable is everyone else.  so you should be thankful that you're miserable because that's very lucky.  to be miserable. " -woody allen

'both kinds, i think, can and are also happy. so whether you like it or not.. happy holidays and end-of-the-year.'

comme des garçons spring 2007

"we wake up one day and find that we have lost our dreams in order to protect out days"

(one of my most favorite anonymous quote and favorite collections)

for so so so so so so long it's not true.

hey , boys are harder to draw. why!! is that..

the stillness in some of the scenery in this film creates such eerie feelings.

i can feel it more when i pause the film for a second, scroll back and then repeat it.

sometimes i skip the real dialogue of the characters on accident the first time around because i'm too intrigued by the colours and emotions filling up visually. even with no music. just car sounds or sounds of waves on the beach.

he , asano's character, kept failing at dying.

and at the end, i think he found something that let him live one more day. each time he almost died, somehow, something came along and lead him to somewhere he never would've wandered off to.

i think wanting to escape life itself comes around human's mind once , or everyday for some. in the end, it's amazing how people get thru things even if it's the worst. maybe people do die on the inside along the way. sometimes they can never be what they used to be. but sometimes they can recover and come alive again with the help of other people. no one can live alone. even if you wanted to.

sorry if you can't read that

i've been reading his autiobiography ,
『音楽は自由にする』、which translates to "music makes me free" or "music gives you freedom". i'm not sure what the exact translation is, but i think both works.

more and more i find him interesting and funny.
and actually so human. there are many moments where i think people will find themselves like him. and i find me in him. that's a nice thing about being human is that some qualities and emotions and feelings we all go through at some point in our life and thus understand eachother more.

from John Water's book "Role Models".

there is a whole chapter on Rei Kawakubo..!
he also uses the same pencil he uses to draw his mustache as i do for my eyebrows.. who would've guessed?

from takeshi kitano's 2002 film 'dolls'

people say the past is the past and you can never look to the future without , well ,moving on. i especially have very extreme-attachment problems but have gotten better at releasing and storing things in a memory closet. or . perhaps i don't care as much anymore for the convinience of not letting myself be hurt. for days you forget about things because some things are better not to be thinking about. just like miso soup that's been boiling for toooo long, never good (actually, never let miso soup boil). but i cannot help but remember such dark dark moments of my past and think for hours about it. for so long, the only thing i thought about was avoiding these thoughts as they are completely unnecessary to my every day. i feel like my mind is not my own sometimes and forces me to remember sad things. and then after lots of staring out to nothing - thinking-time, you somehow get back to earth again. i think that's what shadows are like. it's something you can't live without. but something you don't have to think about every. single. second. of the day (or else we'd all be mad).

we are all punks on the inside. i think.

i am, 2%

what is thattt? like polgothka dot minnie mouse tim burton princess- friends, i love all the nicknames you give me. . . . .the rreal deal is that its meee as in eri but actually i only know for sure who i am on certain days

paris sky spring 2010

flying is so much easier with both wings and a sense of direction. not that i know from experience but i've felt glimpses of flying from time to time. have you>???? rebelling is it being 2% stubborn 2% confidence 2% being strong? i want to be all of the above and free most of all

dreams 1999 (soho, NY)

"IN A DREAM I SAW

A WAY TO SURVIVE

AND I WAS

FULL OF JOY"

-t.wong



now you can dream forever.

"But I didn't understand then. That I could hurt somebody so badly she would never recover. That a person can, just by living, damage another human being beyond repair."
-haruki m.

masochist

nothing is ever easy as it seems.
nothing is ever anything as it seems.

"no one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky." bob dylan

(photos: http://marciosimnch.com/)

i'm in tokyo now for a few weeks. i've waited for tokyo the whole summer! i planned to come here for two months but that obvi didn't work out. so many things didn't go as planned this summer. actually, nothing went as i planned! always happens. always always.

too many unfortunate events. too many wrong turns and emotional rollercoasters.
aiish! but i also found treasures and such, so i guess it hasn't been too horrible.

i'm looking at tokyo aka my break away from america my rehab time. hopefully i'll regain energy and positivness.

xxx

ps i miss