tao comme des garçons spring 2007

right now, i am feeling a bit down.

why?

well,
for many reasons..i am stressed..for many things.
& when it rain it pours.

but one of the reasons:

i think my cat, Hedi, is mad at me.



do you remember the scene in Kiki's Delivery Service, when Kiki's cat Jiji can't speak to her anymore and starts to only understand cat? they have a brief separation..for unknown reason at the time.

i am Kiki right now.


hedi seems so distant.
i can't describe it, it's just different.
i can't figure out why he seems so empty
and angry


it almost feels like when you live with a boyfriend/lover,
and one night, it just feels different laying next to him at night.

hedi, nyc, 2011

do you ever feel like you are an animal, or were an animal in your past life?

sometimes i feel like cat. maybe not like hedi.

but like many cats,

i'm too selfish at times

too much in need of not public, but personal attention.

too much in need of comfort in covers in even the messiest room

hungry even when fed, because its not the fact there is food in the bowl that is satisfying, but the fact that someone is feeding me

the fact that sleeping next to someone, even with backs turned, is the only comfort wanted

and selfishly will go sit under the bed when alone time calls

selfishly play alone

selfishly sleep alone

selfishly ruin things 

selfishly wait for you

and selfishly die where no one sees them

good luck cats. it is so odd that both, the one at work and one at home are both gold.


i always see white cats in restaurants.

he is the most golden of all cats
(strawberry shoutout to lulu!)