19 August 2010




a few days ago, i come back from work and find some freshly fallen feathers at my front doorstep. i stared at them for a long time and was really confused if a bird had fallen down, but there was no body anywhere to be found. i dont even know how it would fly through the front door because it's a heavy door and there aren't small birds around my neighboorhood, only dirty pigeons.

i sometimes think and wonder about how things just disappear. you know when something you are desperately looking for is no where to be found, even after hours of looking for it? then a month later it shows up in the most random place, the corner of your bookshelf next to a magazine you always see when you enter the room. by then you don't even need it anymore.

sometimes things just appear randomly in your room, just like those feathers did in my doorstep. right now my cat is staring at the ground..i had no idea why he was looking there. i assumed that he was seeing things again and pouncing on invisible preys. i see now that there is a ladybug crawling on my floor. a lady bug. how on earth is there a ladybug in my room? that is on the 5th floor in new york city?

anyway- sometimes i feel like i just disappear too. like right now.
i'd like for me to come back now.
any. time. now.

2 comments:

nadine. said...

you just sound so much like a murakami character

Anonymous said...

he ate the bird and coughed up some feathers and a lady bug. zac loves you.