mermaid hair

from takeshi kitano's 2002 film 'dolls'

people say the past is the past and you can never look to the future without , well ,moving on. i especially have very extreme-attachment problems but have gotten better at releasing and storing things in a memory closet. or . perhaps i don't care as much anymore for the convinience of not letting myself be hurt. for days you forget about things because some things are better not to be thinking about. just like miso soup that's been boiling for toooo long, never good (actually, never let miso soup boil). but i cannot help but remember such dark dark moments of my past and think for hours about it. for so long, the only thing i thought about was avoiding these thoughts as they are completely unnecessary to my every day. i feel like my mind is not my own sometimes and forces me to remember sad things. and then after lots of staring out to nothing - thinking-time, you somehow get back to earth again. i think that's what shadows are like. it's something you can't live without. but something you don't have to think about every. single. second. of the day (or else we'd all be mad).