sorry if you can't read that

i've been reading his autiobiography ,
『音楽は自由にする』、which translates to "music makes me free" or "music gives you freedom". i'm not sure what the exact translation is, but i think both works.

more and more i find him interesting and funny.
and actually so human. there are many moments where i think people will find themselves like him. and i find me in him. that's a nice thing about being human is that some qualities and emotions and feelings we all go through at some point in our life and thus understand eachother more.

went to see and hear Sakamoto Ryuichi a few nights ago.
it was insanely unreal and an amazing experience..i had probably the best seat i could ever ask for, so close and i could see his fingers dancing on the keyboard. i could also see his shiny hair (which was, by the way, so beautifully silver and healthy and voluminious..), and i could also see everytime he finished playing a number he would smile .

by far this was the best concert i've been to.
i was frozen in head trance the whole time.
sometimes shaking
sometimes goosebumps
sometimes holding my breath for too long and then breath and then eyes water a little bit. especially when he moved from his out of noise numbers to bibo no aozora. my soul moved a little bit into a happier space. and of course when he played merry christmas mr lawrence i was nearly almost in tears again. music sounds so differnt raw. and with so much emotion, everybody can feel it in the air.

i felt so nervous when he first came out. all you could see was his sillouette on the dark stage as he played glaciers but not on the keyboard, behind the keyboard. you feel coldness.


i think he has such a humble heart. you can really see in his eyes and everytime he really bows and puts his hands together while people are endlessly applauding. thank you sakamoto san. i;ve known you for 14 years already and this is the first time you ever saw me.

influence

tonight i am home at night time
with hedi
he sleeps in the corner
while i lay on my corner
and i hear ryuichi playing piano so softly eeriely
and everything is pretty quiet
i can even hear hedi breathing

it is nice, to not have to speak to anyone

so, like many asian kids, i grew up taking piano lessons. after 8 years or so i had to quit..but whenever i had extreme stress-anger i played the piano at home with whatever skill i had acquired. growing up i wasn't too fond of the classical's i.e. debussy, chopin and the likes. every recital i had to choose one of those..and yes, of course i played the fur elise one year. i've got to say that my favorite ever was when my dad told me he'd like me to play this one piece for him ("for his christmas gift") by ryuichi sakamoto (genius genius genius) called 'merry christmas mr. lawrence'. i had to persuade my teacher to let me play this in the recital, and i did. i remember the recital so clearly, the stage, what i wore, the crowd, how i had to warm up my hands in hot water right before playing the piece, and i remember my mum and dad.


i don't know why i'm talking about this, but i really like having memories with music. music is incredibly emotional to begin with and i love that it brings back moments that've been buried up for awhile. i think it's just so weird how your brain likes to pick and choose what to remember and what to throw away.

bibo no aozora. have playing this one everyday lately. sometimes on repeat. it's so incredibly depressing. but beautiful. i'd like CdG to use this in their show... it's so heavy. i feel like i'm in darkness. i feel like i'm watching people. i feel like i've lost things. i feel like i've moved away. i feel like i am staring at the sky for hours and i'm lost. and i feel like i know nobody and nobody knows me.. when i hear this.

out of noise

chris reminded me of how much i used to love ryuichi sakamoto when i was younger. his newest album is in this book format, which his friend curated, looks amazing.










this one i played in a piano recital when i was like 10. or 9 or 12. i forget.



xxx